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Mari Broman's "The Column"
What is a friend?
How would you define a friend? Someone who is always there
no matter what the need. Someone you can call and talk to
about anything at just about any time. Someone who
accepts you for the person you are: warts and smile and all.
Have you ever thought about what makes that friend so
connected to you? Why is this person so welcome in
your life, whenever they show up? What was it that
brought
you together as friends anyway?
Maybe you met in grade school as someone was picking on you
at recess and this person stuck up for you. Maybe you
were sticking up for them at recess. It could have
been at that dance in Junior High, when you were each
sitting on the side lines, trying to look “Kool” and
realized you weren’t being asked to dance, nor were you
doing the
asking. It could have been High School gym class, or
your first factory job lunch hour, at college in the dorm.
Maybe it was the neighbor you had when you bought your first
house.
It really doesn’t matter where you and your friend got
together. The only thing that matters is you each
cared about the other in a kind, gentle, respectful, and
understanding way. You have an ongoing appreciation
for each other as a person and as a member of the human
community. You enjoy each others company. You
learn from each other, and you have shared difficult times,
events, and situations that have occurred in your lives.
You may get irritated sometimes or impatient with your
friend and they with you. But all in all they offer
you unconditional acceptance.
A real friend doesn’t criticize you, disrespect you or
dishonor you in a situation. They stand by you and
support you and many times never ask for anything in return.
They aren’t your friend so they can gain something from you,
money, status, some jewel. They are your friend
because they really do care about you the person.
I have been very lucky in my life to have had many very
special, caring, considerate friends thru the years, some of
them for three decades or more. The old saying “You
must be a friend to have a friend” rings true I think.
It takes time to develop friendships. In any
relationship work and effort must be contributed.
Maybe one of the things missing in our busy lives is the
time to plant a seed with a potential friend and grow that
seed and water it. It can take several months, even years to
happen. When it does it can be a supportive
relationship that can help you thru life’s ups and downs.
The next time you see your friend, thank them for their
friendship and positive influence in your life. After
all, they have contributed to the beautiful person you have
become, and are becoming…..
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